i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
