If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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