He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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