Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
