he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
