rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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