She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
