you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
