just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
