i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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