Your dad touched me again.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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