I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
