Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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