Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
