woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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