Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
