This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
