I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
