I feel like I'm in dance class right now
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Are my feet made of real feet?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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