My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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