census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
