You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
