I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
