Nicole vs. Life
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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