Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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