yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
