Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Send help, water and tortillas.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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