Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
