69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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