i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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