I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
