Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
