Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
