I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize