So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
