The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Let's get the cat blown out
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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