Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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