I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Randomize
