yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
