I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
