You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
