Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
