Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Rumble strips road head = magical
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
