i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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