just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
