Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
