hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize