I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
