don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
