I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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