Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize