Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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