It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
