Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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