Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Randomize
